Melissa Vaughn

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Thursday 3/30/2006 10:15AM
Another Day

Anothere rather unmotivated day of trying to get to work. At least it's Friday. I've created a myspace site for my friend Eve. Check it out at http://music.myspace.com/arrowspace11

I got a new cellphone and have been playing around with this bluetooth wireless headset thing all morning. I feel like I'm on Star Trek. Technology is cool. I hope it doen't fry my brain.

It's grey out and was snowing this morning. I'm looking forward to to the weekend and getting started on the laundry room floor. My mind is a blur with all of the things on my 'to-do' list. I want to escape for a while, but alas work is calling.

Thursday 3/30/2006 10:15AM
Pasting Dogs

I'm having a hard time getting started today. I feel tired, hot, and would rather be lying down. Today I have the job of finishing up an image for the vans and trucks for Canyon View Ranch (the dog resort!). At least I can't complain about that. The owners are so nice to work for and always love everything I produce. I created an image from several shots of their yard, pasting dogs from different shots into different areas of the yard. Now I need to clean up and airbrush everything before sending it to their printers.

We had more snow this week. It was heavy wet snow and today it has almost all melted off again. I've been too lazy to feed the birds lately so they have migrated next door and are glaring at me from the tree in Stan's yard. They look happy that the sun is out though. There is one neurotic bird we have that likes to look at himself in the mirror on my car. Last week there were obvious signs of this down my drivers side door and beak marks on the mirror. Weirdo bird.

We bought stick down tiles for the laundry room last weekend and I'm going to take on the task of covering the old avocado green vinyl floor one of these weekends. We also bought pre-made cabinets which we will stain and mount in there for extra storage space. Our laundry room is also Paul's tool shed, so you can imagine it's pretty cluttered back there.

Saturday 3/25/2006 9:30AM
Today's blog is brought to you by the words, "trudging" and "fricken"... enjoy.

Time really flew this week. I worked my butt off and am still trudging forward on everything. I got down to the office yesterday to load a bunch of cds onto the sk server. It took 3 hours. I got my car washed and went to Target to take back a humidifier that didn't work and get a few things we needed.

It's looking like rain today, though I was expecting a warm sunny weekend from the weather report earlier in the week. I feel like taking a day to recover and do nothing but I've got to get some more work done and the floor needs to be cleaned. There's mud on it from after our last snow.

I was thinking about going out to visit family in the desert but I'm so fricken tired and I STILL need to go buy belated Christmas gifts for everyone, which I have no idea what to get and frankly am tired of the whole gift thing because I'd rather just go and see my family and enjoy time with them and not have to stress about presents, but it means a lot to Linda so we all do it. Ok that was a run on sentence.

Besides working constantly, I am getting a little bit of knitting in now and then. Also working on learning German, reading, studying tarot, listening to music and trying to learn Such Great Heights on the guitar. How do I do it all? I'm sometimes amazed.

Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine:

Monday 3/20/2006 9:30AM
I just deleted about 500 spam messages and am ready to start the day. I'm happy because I'm going to the ranch this morning for a meeting. Then I've got to run a few errands around town here before getting back to work.

We had the neighbors over for a bar-b-que dinner. Bela cooked marinated steaks and some african spicy dish made with chicken livers. We also had buffalo wings, beets, beans, and bread. It was a great way to end the weekend. Food is always better with friends.

Saturday 3/18/2006 8:30AM
Well it's snowing again. That's like five weekends in a row. I absolutely LOVE it. Both my neighbor Stan and I feed the birds so we've got tons of them flying around and scratching in the snow for fallen seeds. The snow had almost completely melted off since last weekend and now we have another six inches.

I've got to get some work done today, since we were having intent issues yesterday and it was too painfully slow to get anything done. I'm making progress on my projects though... and finally starting to see the end approaching to one super mega project that I've been working on for MONTHS.

Paul ordered the extra T-1 yesterday so we should be speeding up in a couple of weeks. Also his partner in Pine Mountain is getting two more up there so we should all be happy campers up here on the mountain top. Apparently someone put up a "bird cam" that has been sucking up our precious little bandwidth. Bela and I are talking about putting a cam up on his house facing out toward the ranch land once we get the extra bandwidth. It would be really nice for him since he has to go down to Sony everyday and could use it to check on the weather... well that and you could watch the cows :)

Friday 3/17/2006 9:30AM
Well, I ended my smoking fast last night, one day early. Bettina brought over pizza and wine and I decided to smoke, since smoking and drinking always seem to go so well together. I don't regret it but I want to continue with only smoking occasionally. Jenn's blog reminds me that health is something that shouldn't't be taken for granted. Though we don't have control of everything that happens to our bodies, we do have the ability to make choices that may can have some affect... if nothing else, but to make us feel healthier.

The sky has been getting dark and it just started snowing. For the past 4 weeks or so it seems to be snowing every weekend, and sunny and beautiful all during the week... interesting. We'll I can hear the birds outside sounding hungry. I'm going to go fill up the feeders then get to work.

Wednesday 3/15/2006 8:45AM
I now know I love chickens. I've always liked chickens but now I know I really LOVE them! Yesterday was my first day on chicken duty at the ranch. This consists of going in their coup and cleaning out the water, checking for eggs and feeding them. These are the friendliest chicken's I've ever met. You can pet them and pick them up. They are really mellow chickens. I found 3 eggs in the morning and four more in the afternoon with Vicki. These chickens are not only fun to hang out with they give you lots of eggs, how cool is that?!?!

I learned how to drive the quad yesterday. It is an automatic with 4-wheel drive (not usually necessary) and has a trailer on the back for mucking. This was the most fun I think I've ever had mucking out the pasture. It started to snow before I could finish, I actually was having so much fun I would have finished even with the weather, but I knew Jason wanted to get home and he still had to show me how to back it up and dump it. Backing up with a trailer is not easy! The trailer always seems to go in the wrong direction. I definitely need more practice with that.

The cigarette fast is going well. I'm feeling more energetic and focused. This is the fourth day. I'm not really even thinking about smoking anymore.

I got a belkin cable (BKN F8Z030-12AP BELKIN A/V Cable for 4G & 5G iPods) in the mail yesterday that I ordered online from jr.com . It connects the iPod to the TV. I tried it out with some shows and a Tom Petty music video I ordered on iTunes. I was amazed. The quality on the 32" TV looks way better than I expected. It's perhaps a little more compressed than the regular DirectTV stuff but it looks and sounds great!

Monday 3/13/2006 8:30AM
I'm taking a six day cigarette fast as of yesterday. Quitting is too permanent and smoking is fun. Taking it out for a short period of time makes me more conscious of my decision to smoke. I also find this practice makes me more aware and open in all areas of my life. So there you go. I'll let you know how it goes. My last excursion from smoking was before I was in Hawaii. I think at that time I had stopped for at least a month or so but with the occasional smoke with friends. I would actually like to get back to that point.

Sunday 3/12/2006 3:30PM
On Friday Bela and Bettina had us over for dinner. As usual he cooked a delicious gourmet meal, sort of a stuffing wrapped with thin beef and rolled up, cucumber salad with fennel (like Tzatziki), mashed potatoes, yams, etc. We stuffed ourselves, drank wine and played music while the snow piled up outside.

It's snowing like crazy today, big fluffy snow. Bela and I went for a walk around the neighborhood in it yesterday and today Leda and I made a snow swan in the front yard (evolved from the snow foot we made yesterday). It's really starting to pile up now. Everything is white on a white sky background.

Our heater wasn't working this morning. Luckily I have Paul because he figured out that one of the pipes were frozen and got it working again. Most of our firewood is under the snow. We had enough to have a little fire this morning to make the house nice and toasty. I should go out dig out some more wood before it gets dark. There's nothing quite as nice as having a fire while it's snowing outside.

Friday 3/10/2006 9:00AM
Finally a good snow day! It's been coming down since I woke up around 6:30. I canceled my meeting and plan on bundling up after breakfast and diving into the fluff. It's supposed to keep up all weekend. I love it!

Thursday 3/9/2006 9:00AM
I feel a storm coming on. News says that snow levels are supposed to get down to 1000' on Saturday. I hope it doesn't hit until later on Friday so I can get down to a meeting I scheduled. Looking forward to being snowed in. Maybe it will put me in the mood to finish knitting that scarf for Michelle which I promised her months ago. I just haven't been in the knitting mood lately. To much going on to relax.

Bettina and I caught up yesterday eve and had a nice chat. We're scheming about getting another weekend away soon. We had such a nice time in Cambria a few months ago. We could use another mini vacation like that.

Paul and I need to get away too. Maybe go visit his dad and check out Missouri again. We may be moving there in the next few years for a chance to get out of the grind. Live a simpler life with horses and land. Our friends moved out there last year and we fell in love with the place when we went to visit them.

Wednesday 3/8/2006 6:45AM
The snow gods have blessed us again. Woke up to a couple inches of fresh snow, put on my boots and went out to fill up the bird feeders. The sky is gorgeous blue. This will probably all melt off by noon.

I went to feed and muck at the stables yesterday. Everybody is doing good including a new Turkey who is living with the chickens now. Vicki is so dedicated she was out there even as it started to snow working with Uno and Bacchanal. Bacchanal was rescued from some idiots that were roping her for practice. She is a dainty race horse and was physically damaged from the abuse. Vicki helps her by getting her to do neck flexions (which is to bend the horses head around to touch it's shoulders), lounging her in the round pen, and grooming her. She's got trust issues about grooming and will try to kick but she has gotten much better since Vicki has been working with her with her.

I won the chicken egg lottery yesterday and was presented with 10, yes TEN, fresh eggs. Chickens are cool. I'm going to go make breakfast now.

Monday 3/6/2006 8:18AM
It's a rainy morning in the mountains. Grey, dark and cozy.

Margo helped me wake up yesterday by going for a walk and helping me clean a shelf that Paul put together for me. I bought it from Target and it came with a million pieces each with an impossible to remove sticker on it.... so that kept us busy for a while. Paul and I then went for a little drive, just around Frazier Park and Gorman, really just to get out of the house. We were both getting a little grouchy.

Now here we are again, another Monday and time to crack the whip and get moving... but instead I write on my blog and screw around on myspace avoiding the inevitable chaos that will surely soon begin with the first phone calls of the day.

Sunday 3/5/2006 1:20PM
Woke up with a shiny forehead and a cigarette hangover.

I went down and visited my x-landlady Bertha in Santa Monica. She's doing well though she's been in the hospital for various things. She's getting older now but I was happy to see her still getting along well in spite of the health issues. I helped her remove some dread locks from her cat and showed her pictures of where we live now.

I went to Lisi and Kevin's house and helped make Mojitos for the party they were throwing. Lisi's sister came and painted faces and I read her tarot cards. I left by 10 to come home since the drive is long and I had to sober up first which involved me drinking water and smoking for an hour before leaving. Kevin & Lisi are thinking about moving to Long Beach or somewhere they can afford to have a place with a garage. Santa Monica is so expensive. (Do you guys know you could buy a house up here for what you are paying in rent???). I hope they don't move too far away. It's been great hanging out with Lisi again after all these years.

Thursday 3/2/2006 7:15AM
For the past year or so I have started having these strange symbolic dreams. I used to have more dreams having to do with the ocean, mountains, and other types of more familiar adventures, reflecting I'm sure my emotions and issues at that time. My dreams really have taken a different direction. Maybe this is why I get a little anxious when April said that over the past year I have changed, even though we talked and she said that she was just overreacting because of stress, and misinturpreting our email coorispondance as me trying to push her away (Which is totally not true, I love April, but like anyone who knows me knows, sometimes I don't respond to emails or make a short quick reply, sometimes they get buried because of work, and sometimes I don't even see them... I'm realizing more now, email is not a good form of communication). Maybe I have changed though? It worries me, but then again, of course I have changed. That's not necessarily a bad thing. A lot in my life has changed. I think it is part of my process of growing up and growing older. I have relaxed more about work now that I have been working with the horses. It's true that I have become a bit more impatient with computer work and email, but I need to set limits in order to have time to spend with friends and do things that I enjoy. I was stressing out about work for too long. It was right at the time I was starting up but there is another way I believe to work and live without being as consumed by pleasing clients. Now I am moving into that change, passing more and more work along to Mary and Randy. Trying to be more selective about the types of jobs I take, and trying to give my long time clients more time and attention. I've raised my prices for new clients, but I still go low for people when they tell me they don't have a lot of money, which is maybe me getting suckered in.

I guess my fear about changing is that I will loose touch with who I am, whoever that is or was (This is a very philosophical question). I just don't want to turn into a bitter, selfish person, and I worry about that. I don't think I am, but how do you know unless you look at yourself. I feel happy and have fufilling relationships but it's possible that I do get consumed with the things going on in my own life and forget to look outside my self sometimes. I've gone through a lot of phases in my life from naivity to depression to stability and strength. It seems to be a contually learning process and I'm grateful for that, because I tend to dislike stagnation and monotony. In this phase of my life I'm learning how to balance work with friends and family, those who truely matter. For a while it was necessary to put my all into starting up the business, but now it does not require as much... at least I'm telling myself that but I still seem to have a constant mountain of work. I really would love to get through some of these projects and make this goal a reality. I think it's going to happen. I know it's possible.

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